Reflection

Dusting out the cobwebs, it’s been awhile!

As I was sitting here reading my past blogs, I just wanted to share that God has ended my storm, awhile back actually 🙂 He has answered my every prayer in the situation. I have remained faithful and hopeful through it all. Never doubting and always knowing it would be in God’s timing not mine and not his. Things had to happen to get to where we are today. I don’t like that it happened but I know it had to happen.

Life throws us many curves and you just have to learn to roll with the punches and know that God is in control.

I never doubted that we weren’t meant to be, I never waivered on my love for him and I never once gave up on us. Back in September he gave me the most amazing birthday ever, a day all about ME , the only day I allow it to be about me. It’s one day I will never forget. On Thanksgiving Day, he asked me to marry him! 6 1/2 years after we met. I always thought I wasn’t good enough for him but I was always patiently waiting for him to ask me, never pressuring, never forcing the issue. I’m not sure what changed his outlook, only that what we went through made him see what he risked losing.

I can’t explain my love for him, there are no words to accurately describe it i’ve never felt this way about anyone before. It’s a feeling of completion when I am with him and a feeling of being incomplete when I am not.

I look forward to the day when we can finally be together. To face whatever this crazy thing called life throws at US together. I’m sure the ride isn’t over by a long shot and we will have many ups and downs but together we can concur this never ending ride.

Stay Faithful and stay Hopeful! Keep on keeping on and God will get you where you are meant to be! 🙂

Advertisements

Patience

Dear Lord,

I have been patient for a long long time, waiting for your timing. When will that be? I’m getting weary and some days I know I’m holding on by a thread but I refuse to give up. I’m fighting for what my heart wants. HE is WORTH the fight … I know he is … I know in the end of this storm we will be much better .. it’s just getting through it that’s the rough part. Leaning on you Lord to get me through and show me strength when I am weak.

 

 

 

 

No one knows the torture I am in

I smile, I laugh, I grin

Underneath the surface, the devil taunts me

Barely hanging on to what I know to be true and all that it can be

I reach up and pray to God, Dear Lord please get US through

Take these thoughts of mine and toss them away

Take ALL obstacles soon or even today

Have mercy and make this storm end

For I can’t handle just being a “friend”

After 6 years, I deserve more than that

I don’t know how to tell him what I feel

How he hurt me, how it’s all so surreal

In his state of mind, I don’t think it even matters

I see brief periods where he lets me in, my heart melts when he winks and smiles

I miss his kiss, I miss his hand

Dear Lord, I beg PLEASE LET THIS STORM END!

 

 

Loving him and standing beside him through it ALL. Believing and knowing in the end it will be him and I and better than before.

 

 

Life Is Too Short…

If there is anything I have learned in life, it’s that it’s too short and it can be ripped away from you in a split second. Personally, I have suffered a lot of loss in my life, including 2 children of my own. It is through these losses  that I have learned to love with my whole heart. As I look around, I see loss everyday in one form or another and it’s just a constant reminder and reinforces and confirms that life is too short, embrace and enjoy it while you have it and the people you love.

Life is too short for regrets, for grudges, for stressing over things in which you have no control. Love like there is no tomorrow because there is a chance it could be the last time you see someone. If you love someone, tell them, because they may never know otherwise and one day it could be too late to say it. Don’t risk living a life full of regrets. Live each day as if it were your last because it very well could be. Impact lives in a positive way and do great things.

I know people look at me and wonder how I can stay so positive with  everything I have been through in my life. My Answer? God! God has been there for me every single step of the way. From living in a dysfunctional family growing up, to losing and burying 2 of my children, through the emotional and mental abuse of a repeatedly cheating husband , through being a single mom, through all the heartache I have recently been through.. God has carried me and no matter what, he will always carry me when I cannot walk on my own.

If someone you love hurts you, forgive them. Forgiveness is a powerful thing. In a world full of hate, negativity, hurt, revenge, and just all around evil, it’s easy to fall prey to all the negative feelings that consume you when you have been hurt, but to conquer those negative feelings and to choose love instead of hate and revenge is the greatest feeling of all. Life is too short to live with negative feelings that just bring you down all the time. Recently, I’ve been hurt by someone I love. I can’t explain the feelings I have, there are no words. I’ve chosen to love over hate and revenge and I have nothing but love in my heart for him, there is no hate, revenge, anger, or any such negative feelings for him .. just pure unconditional love. I know people don’t get that, maybe even he doesn’t get that 🙂 ….but I know it comes from God because nothing so pure could come from anywhere else.

So live life to it’s fullest, love with all your heart, love unconditionally, love pure, laugh often and forgive those who mean the most to you for you may never have that chance again.